New video of Benjamin giggles!! I am bouncing a ball for Luna and he is just laughing away!
Once the initial shock wore off Michael and I knew that we had to come up with a plan of action. We took a lot of walks in the field next to our house and would just talk that summer. We both knew that having a baby was expensive and we had no idea where we were going to come up with the money. I had been applying for both full and part time jobs for around a year and I only got one interview. Laramie has so many over qualified people that finding a good job can be be almost next to impossible.
We tried to lay out all of our options, which were limited. To say that we were scared was an understatement. But, I think that just being able to get out of the house and talk to each other that summer really helped to make things better. The best thing that we did was continue to be a team and work things out as a team. No matter what your problem is talking about it with your spouse can help to elevate some of the stress of it. And sometimes miracles happen just when you need them!
I always wanted to know what babies dream about and know, now I know…MILK! See the video we got of Benjamin sleeping!
After I left Courtney’s house I went down to our local Hasting in search of The Polar Express! When Michael was young his family read The Polar Express every year at Christmas. I knew that I wanted to wait to buy him a copy of The Polar Express when I found out that I was pregnant. I found it in the children’s department. Then I went over to the section where they keep the pregnancy books and I sat and read about the road ahead of me. About an hour before Michael would be home I went to the register with The Polar Express and two pregnancy books.
I went home and went into out guest room, which would soon become a nursery. I sat with the book and wrote a letter to the sweet baby growing inside of me. I put the book into a bag with some tissue paper and waited for Michael. When he came home I handed him the bag. He pulled out the book and smiled and said thanks. I told him to open the book. He opened it and started reading. Then he looked up at me when he figured out what he was reading, I will never forget the look on his face. I shook my head yes and smiled at him. And in that minute everything was perfect!
Today Benjamin rolled all the way over for the first time! He went from his tummy to his side, which he has done many times. Then all of a sudden he was on his tummy and kept going to his other side and then his back again! Here is a picture that I got of him on my phone right after it happened. He has not done it again since, but it was amazing. I am so proud of my little man.
After learning, thee times over, that I was pregnant I was a mix of emotions. I paced backed and forth in our bed room trying not to freak out. Then for a moment I stopped and really thought about things. I have wanted to be a Mom for as long as I can remember. I put my hands on my stomach and closed my eyes and thanked God for the amazing gift that he had given me.
I wanted to call Michael so bad, but I had known for years how I wanted to tell him that we were going to be parents, and calling him freaking out on the phone was not it. I really wanted him to be the first person that I told. So I tried to think about what I would do for the next four hours. I knew that there was no way that I could keep it together until then, the freak out factor was high.
As happy as I was to become a Mom our life was not exactly in line for it. I was only substitute teaching at the time, and not bring in very much money. Our house was a complete construction zone. I was planning on completing my degree by doing my student teaching the semester the baby was due. But, the thing that was freaking me out the most was that I did not have health insurance and having a baby is crazy expensive.
So I got into my car and drove over my friend Courtney’s house. When she opened the door I broke into tears, all of my emotions rising to the top and over flowing. She did a great job of telling me that everything would be all right and that everything would work its self out. I don’t know what I would have done without her that day!
This is the first part in a series about finding out that we were pregnant, how that changed our lives, and how we dealt with all it. I am going to try to be as honest as I can in these posts. I think that it is important.
I am posting this one day late in honor of my one year Mommy anniversary!
For a couple of days my husband asked if I was pregnant. I kept saying no. At one point I even took a test and it was negative. I knew that I had some of the symptoms, but I just assumed that they were PMS. I have never been very regular so that was not a clue to me. I had all of the symptoms that you have with PMS; cramping, irritability, and tender breasts. I even made a joke to a friend that Michael thought that I was pregnant but I thought that he was crazy. In fact, that is a picture of me installing our floors when I was about three weeks pregnant, two weeks before I discovered this myself.
It was Monday, March 29th. I woke up at around 8:20 in the morning. I went into the backroom and figured that I would waste yet another pregnancy test. So I pulled out the test and did my business. I looked at the test as it filled in first the test line and then the second line. The pregnant line! I just sat there and stared at the test. The only think I could think was well that is new and different.
I went out of the bathroom threw on some clothes and drove out to Wal-Mart. I went straight to the pregnancy test section and bought two different brands of the digital read out test. I went to the register paid and drove home trying not to think. I ran up stairs to the bathroom and took the two test. There it was in black and white “Pregnant” and “Yes +”. There was no doubt about it…I was pregnant!