Freaking out!

After learning, thee times over, that I was pregnant I was a mix of emotions.  I paced backed and forth in our bed room trying not to freak out.  Then for a moment I stopped and really thought about things.  I have wanted to be a Mom for as long as I can remember.  I put my hands on my stomach and closed my eyes and thanked God for the amazing gift that he had given me. 

IMG_0287I wanted to call Michael so bad, but I had known for years how I wanted to tell him that we were going to be parents, and calling him freaking out on the phone was not it.  I really wanted him to be the first person that I told.  So I tried to think about what I would do for the next four hours.  I knew that there was no way that I could keep it together until then, the freak out factor was high. 

As happy as I was to become a Mom our life was not exactly in line for it.  I was only substitute teaching at the time, and not bring in very much money.  Our house was a complete construction zone.  I was planning on completing my degree by doing my student teaching the semester the baby was due.  But, the thing that was freaking me out the most was that I did not have health insurance and having a baby is crazy expensive. 

So I got into my car and drove over my friend Courtney’s house.  When she opened the door I broke into tears, all of my emotions rising to the top and over flowing.  She did a great job of telling me that everything would be all right and that everything would work its self out.  I don’t know what I would have done without her that day!


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